


so please don’t watch as the blood begins to pour

by mermistia



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Guilt, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Murder, Mutual Pining, Repressed Memories, catra just fucking snaps, idk what else to add, just in case y'all needed more pain after s3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 11:48:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20081704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mermistia/pseuds/mermistia
Summary: Catra always wants She-Ra, one way or another. Be it for love or war. Catra always wants Adora.Maybe this time she can’t have her.





	so please don’t watch as the blood begins to pour

**Author's Note:**

> just starts absolutely fucking sobbing

Catra can’t help but laugh. 

They’ve won.

“Those princesses aren’t going to know what hit them,” she says, and pulls hard to turn the skiff. “This ends today, just watch.” 

Kyle slides when they turn, slamming into Lonnie uncomfortably. “I thought we’d already won,” he murmurs, staring at the floor. “Sorry, Lonnie.”

Catra huffs, an angry screech of “_Kyle, stop fucking falling into people,_” on the tip of her tongue, but Lonnie speaks first, and it’s not in the harsh tone that Catra’s expecting. 

“It’s okay, Kyle,” she says, and Catra turns to look at them in disgust as Lonnie actually _hugs_ him, pressing him into her side and letting him wilt in her embrace. 

“It’s _okay?_” Catra says in disdain. “Since when is anything Kyle does ever _okay?_”

Lonnie falters. “I- C’mon, Catra, leave him alone. With all of this- you’re Force Captain, you’re _everything_\- haven’t you done enough?”

“Scorpia, take control.” Catra says, and she jumps towards Lonnie with a low growl. "_Enough,_ Lonnie? What I’ve done won’t be _enough_ until Bright Moon is in ruins, until Princess Sparkles and her little boyfriend are dead and gone, and until Adora is- until She-Ra is taken care of, exactly how I want her.”

Catra glances to the side as Kyle pulls himself out of Lonnie’s arms, crawling away slowly. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Just- here,” he says without looking at her, and presses himself against the cold metal wall of the skiff, hidden behind Scorpia’s legs. 

“Haven’t you done enough to Adora?” Lonnie’s eyes well up with tears, and she brushes them away impatiently. “Yeah, I know she left you, she left me too, she left all of us, but- fuck, Catra, what else are you gonna do to her?”

“What else _can_ you do?” Scorpia says softly, and Entrapta backs her up with a distracted, almost scared noise of agreement. Scorpia glances over her shoulder at Catra, hair blowing into her eyes. ”We’ve hurt She-Ra enough, don’t you think? Bright Moon is already crumbling.”

Catra snarls. “I don’t want it to crumble. I want it to burn. Go faster, Scorpia. We need to get there now.”

Scorpia hesitates, and winces as Catra’s claws spring from her fingertips. “Yeah, okay.”

Catra grins as the wind blows in her face, whipping her hair against her shoulders. She grips Lonnie’s face tightly, claws digging into her skin and drawing tiny droplets of blood from her cheeks. “Don’t question me again, _cadet._ You got that?”

“You’re not better than us, Catra,” Lonnie hisses, pulling her face from Catra’s hands. “You don’t know when to _stop._ You always take it too far, don’t you?” She stands, and Catra’s claws pull back into her fingers. 

“Bright Moon is in sight,” Scorpia says, and the skiff shakes a little as she increases speed. 

Catra smiles. “Storm the castle. I have a stop to make in the woods.”

Scorpia frowns. “Wait, but-”

“Just go!” Catra says, her voice sharp, and Scorpia stares blankly at her. “This won’t take long. Believe me.”

“Fine,” Scorpia says, and Lonnie gives her a weak smile. “We’ll meet you there.”

Catra hums, sending a glare towards Rogelio when he hisses at her. “I expect to see the Queen on her knees when I arrive. You got that?” 

She doesn’t stick around to hear Scorpia’s answer, darting upwards into the trees and snapping a branch off of the trunk with a sickening crack. The leaves shake and float onto the disappearing skiff as it drives off, leaving Catra alone in the woods. 

Or, maybe not so alone.

”Oh, _Princess,_” Catra calls, jumping from branch to branch. The floor is a distant blur below her, but it’s still easy enough to work out the bright red of a cape when she sees it. She smiles. “You out there?”

Adora’s voice is angry, and tired. The most tired that Catra has ever heard it. “Come _out,_ Catra, wherever you are. We need to finish this.”

“It’s been finished for a long time, Adora, don’t you know that?” It’s cold and uncomfortable to be perched up on top of the branches, but it’s somewhere safe, out of reach of Adora’s sword, so Catra stays there, hidden out of sight in the shrubbery. “Or have you been too busy flirting with Princess Sparkles over there in Bright Moon?”

“Leave Glimmer out of this,” Adora calls, and she points her sword into the trees. “This is about me and you, Catra. It always has been.”

“Oh, Adora. You’re right,” Catra says softly, and jumps from the tree with an almost silent sound. Adora still can’t see her hidden in the shadows, cutting small slits in the leaves with her claws as she walks. She jumps over a bush with a short huff, landing behind Adora, and grins when She-Ra doesn’t turn to face her. “It always has been.” 

Adora screams as claws sink into her skin, and falls onto her knees in the dirt. “Catra!”

“Adora!” Catra mocks, and pulls herself away. She licks absent-mindedly at the blood staining her fingers, smudging the red liquid over her face. “You bleed so easily. All that armour really doesn’t do much, huh?”

“It- it protects me,” Adora says. She steadies herself against her sword, digging the blade into the soil and using it to push herself up. “I am She-Ra, and this armour- it’s mine. It protects me.”

“Clearly it isn’t very good at it.” Catra darts forwards again, scratching her hand over She-Ra’s face and leaving deep cuts in the skin. “Plus, look at that.” She ducks as She-Ra’s lasso swings towards her, dodging her way out from beneath the rope. “Your pretty little face is totally unprotected.”

The lasso turns into a shield in a flash of light, and Adora holds it up to her face as Catra lashes out again. Claws scrape against metal with an ear-piercing sound, and Adora blows a strand of hair away from her face as she skids a few steps backwards. “So is yours.”

The sword reappears, and Catra shrieks in pain as Adora swings it and the tip of the blade cuts through the skin of her cheek. Wet blood springs from the wound immediately, flowing and dripping into Catra’s hair, and Catra clutches her face in surprise. “Adora!”

“I’m sorry, Catra.” She-Ra steps backwards, lowering her sword. “I don’t want to fight you.”

Catra hisses. “That hasn’t stopped you before.”

“Catra, _please,_" Adora’s voice cracks as tears well in her eyes. Catra watches as she stretches a hand out, golden gauntlets glinting in the sun. “I can’t do this anymore- I can’t fight you anymore. We can fix this. Please, just- let this stop.”

“You almost sound like you mean it.” Catra laughs with no humour, hugging herself tightly. Her hair blows in the wind, starting to stick to her cheek as the blood dries and keeps it there, and she shakes it out of her eyes impatiently. “What, you just want your sidekick back?”

“For Christ’s sake-” Adora raises a hand to her forehead, pinching the bridge of her nose. She huffs, exhausted and upset, and squeezes her eyes shut. “You were never my sidekick- you- you’re my best friend, Catra.”

“Am I?” 

“Of course you are!” 

“I don’t want to be!”

Adora falters. “You- what?”

“I don’t want to be your best friend!” Catra runs forwards with her hand outstretched, claws still wet with blood, but she skids to a halt when Adora doesn’t make any attempt to move or dodge. She lets out a small _oof_ as she collides with She-Ra’s chest, but doesn’t pull away, pressing her face against the golden chest plate. “I don’t... want to be your best friend,” she says, and winces at the softness of her voice. 

“What _do_ you want to be?” Adora whispers to her, and Catra shivers as she feels a strand of her hair being tucked behind her ear, Adora’s fingers ghosting over her neck. Neither of them speak for a moment, and Catra closes her eyes, listening closely to the sounds of the Whispering Woods around them, listening to Adora’s heart beat fast under her armour, listening to the ragged breaths that both of them are panting against each other’s bodies. “What do you want to be, Catra?” Adora repeats, and steps backwards to tilt Catra’s head up, their eyes meeting. “Just tell me.”

Catra lets out a shaking breath. “To.. to be with you. To stay together. To be us.”

Adora smiles, soft and sad, and Catra feels tears come to her eyes. “I want to be with you too, Catra. I’ve always wanted that.” She runs a hand through Catra’s hair, flicking chunks of mud and stray leaves out of the tangles. “So, you _do_ want to be my best friend?”

“No,” Catra says, closing her eyes, and Adora’s smile fades. “I want to be more.” And suddenly she’s reaching up, gripping Adora’s neck and pulling her in, pressing their lips together fast and hard. 

Adora gasps in between kisses, short and shaky breaths before their lips press together again, and Catra leans into the sound. “Catra, maybe I love you,” Adora says breathlessly, so quietly that it almost goes unheard, lost in the trees. “I love you, I love you, I love you,” and her arms hook under Catra’s thighs, pulling her upwards and resting her on her waist. “That’s what I’ve wanted to tell you.” 

“That’s what I’ve wanted to hear.” Catra wraps her legs tighter around Adora’s body, lifting her hands upwards to play with the metal of She-Ra’s tiara. Her hands clutch the blonde mess of hair that flows around her, and she smiles into the kiss, feeling the hair move and shift under her fingers despite the fact that the breeze blowing through the woods died down so long ago. She pulls away, and grins. “Does your hair always move like that without any wind?” 

Adora doesn’t reply, and Catra opens her eyes slowly. There’s no one there. She springs back in offence, tail bushy and stuck up, eyes wide, and searches the grass and sky as if Adora has simply shrunk or flown away. “I don’t remember She-Ra being able to fly,” she says nervously, and gives out a shaky laugh. A growing chill whistles through the trees, and Catra shivers, clutching herself tightly. “Adora, where _are_ you?”

No reply comes, and Catra frowns, digging her claws through her fur and into her skin. Blood wells up, matting the fur with dark red, but she doesn’t flinch as she presses her claws in deeper. “Adora, _please._”

Footsteps sound behind her, the sound of leaves crunching and twigs snapping somewhere behind the trees, and Catra feels herself growing more frantic. “Adora? Adora!” 

She steps backwards, treading lightly. 

One step. 

Two steps. 

Three steps. 

She trips over a bush. A scream escapes her lips as she falls, and she reaches out for something to hold on to, flailing when her fists close around nothing but air. A branch scratches at her face, tearing the skin and flicking leaves into her eyes, and she opens her mouth for another scream. 

“Kitty?” Catra lets out what almost sounds like a sob as Scorpia’s arms wrap around her, catching her before she hits the ground. “Kitty, what’s wrong?”

Scorpia looks down at her with wide eyes, and Catra squirms uselessly in her hold. “_No,_ Scorpia, no. Get off, get off of me, get off-” She slaps at Scorpia’s pincers half-heartedly, pushing at her wrists and kicking at the ground. “I need to find Adora!”

Scorpia’s face softens, and she pulls Catra closer to her body. “Oh, kitty... Catra...” She presses a kiss to the top of Catra’s head, to the nape of her neck, to the skin behind her ear, and holds her so tight that Catra thinks she’ll never let go. “It’s okay, Catra. Just stay here- stay with me. You’re okay.”

Catra squirms a little more before relaxing, clutching the front of Scorpia’s uniform in her fists. “But, Adora. Adora...”

“She’s gone, Catra.” Scorpia’s voice breaks, and she buries her face in Catra’s hair as she starts to cry. Catra freezes as Scorpia’s sobs shake them both, and their arms tighten around each other. 

Catra’s voice drops to a whisper. “Gone?”

“You don't remember? You- you killed her,” Scorpia says, and Catra’s entire body is weightless. Scorpia keeps talking, broken words and broken sobs, but it just fades into the background, almost like a white noise in Catra’s ears as she stares off into space. Scorpia’s words have sent a knife through her heart, and she feels everything and nothing simultaneously. Her body is so numb, so empty, so cold, so hollow in Scorpia’s arms, and yet somehow it still seems like every single one of her nerves is alight, gleaming with fire and poison and pain and sending terrifying shocks through her body. 

“I killed her,” Catra echoes, and suddenly it makes sense. The kiss, the disappearance, the incredible happiness that had overwhelmed her for a split second as She-Ra’s lips had touched hers, as Adora’s lips had touched her body. She should have known that it was too good to be true. She should have known that she didn’t deserve happiness like that. “She isn’t here,” she says, and it’s so soft that Scorpia misses it. Catra chokes on her own spit and tears, and wrenches herself out of Scorpia’s grasp. “When did I-”

“A week ago,” Scorpia says, already knowing the question. “She-Ra- _Adora_ has been dead for- for a week, Catra. You really _don't_ remember... You’ve been getting worse...” Scorpia reaches out her arm, a look that’s a mix of worry and slight fear decorating her face. 

Catra dodges the touch. “I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine!” Scorpia’s voice is suddenly heated, but she shakes her head and regains her softness almost immediately. “Please, kitty, you’re not okay. You’re in denial, you’re-”

“I am _fine!_ Do you think I’m crazy or something? I’m not crazy, Scorpia!” She bites back a sickness at the words. She isn’t even sure that she believes them anymore. She’s not crazy, she’s not crazy, she’s not crazy- but she might be. 

“Catra, I didn’t say you were.” Scorpia’s voice is still soft, too soft, and Catra can feel her anger rising inside of her. 

“Where’s the skiff?”

Scorpia falters. “They- They’re parked just through those trees. We came back for you, we-”

Catra sniffs and turns up her nose. “You came back to save me, Scorpia? How sweet.”

Scorpia takes a shaking breath, letting her eyes continue to fill up with tears as she stares ahead at Catra. “Please, just let me help you.“

“I don’t need your help!” Catra’s voice is a scream now, her words barely understandable through her anger. But Scorpia is still stood there, all concerned eyes and kind words and the desperate want to help, and Catra can’t hold it in anymore, and she _snaps._ “You think I’m _crazy!_" she screams, and suddenly she’s running forwards, claws out, and she’s sinking her hands into Scorpia’s chest. There’s blood, so much blood, and Catra doesn’t even flinch as it spreads over her hands and up her wrists, drenching her arms and chest and clothes in a dripping physical representation of Scorpia’s screams. It’s so warm, and yet the air around them both seems so cold, like now that both She-Ra and Scorpia are gone from the world, the planet can’t bear to keep its warmth anymore. 

Catra stops. Her body is burning hot with blood that isn’t hers, and Scorpia’s skin is so cold and so torn, so slashed apart and falling to pieces right underneath Catra’s fingertips. Catra shakes the blood off of her hands impatiently, peering through the trees until she spots a sliver of silver metal just visible past a branch. “I’m sorry, Scorpia,” she says, and looks down at the body beneath her. There’s no movement, no plea for help, no screams echoing through the forest. Scorpia is deadly still, a trace of concern and shock and love and terror still lingering on her face. “You were in my way.”

Catra stands, wipes her hands on some leaves, stains the wildlife with smears of red, and wanders through the trees to the skiff, stepping onto it with enough force to shake it precariously. 

“Wait, where is Scorpia?” Entrapta asks, and plays with the lenses of her goggles nervously, skating her fingers across the glass. Catra can almost see her fear, something that Entrapta doesn’t usually show, and gives her a low growl in response. 

“She’s otherwise occupied,” Catra says coldly, and takes hold of the controls of the skiff in one clawed hand. 

Lonnie scrambles to her feet. “Catra, what have you done to her, you-” her words cut off with a shriek as Catra sends the skiff flying forwards, faster than it should possibly be able to go, and Lonnie is sent tumbling onto the floor and into Rogelio’s lap. Trees and stones scratch against all sides of the skiff as they move, leaving deep dents in the metal, but Catra doesn’t even glance back as it happens. 

Kyle reaches towards Catra’s arm. “Maybe we should slow down, y’know? This- this isn’t safe, Catra, we’re gonna get hurt, or-”

Catra turns around at that, scratching her nails down Kyle’s forearm with a hiss. “Do I look like I care, Kyle? Do I _look_ like I care if you, or Lonnie, or Rogelio, or the little _Princess_ over there get hurt? I don’t give a fuck, Kyle, so sit the hell down, and _don’t question me again._”

It’s quiet for a second, save for Kyle’s whimpers of pain, and Catra closes her eyes and smiles. The sun is beating down on her face and shoulders, warm and safe and burning, and the blood on her hands has dried and stained her clothes. Lonnie is silent, _finally,_ Entrapta is cowering in a corner with scraps of metal clutched tightly in her hands, Rogelio is watching the forest begin to disappear behind them, and Kyle is stifling his cries of pain, and everything is finally just so _perfect._

“Bright Moon in sight again,” Lonnie says quietly, glancing up and squinting in the sunlight. “What’s the plan, Force Captain Catra?”

Catra opens her eyes. “We’re going to burn Bright Moon to the ground.”

**Author's Note:**

> SEASON THREE BROKE ME SO HERE HAVE SOME ANGTSY CATRADORA WITH A HINT OF SCORPTRA AS I SIT HERE CRYING
> 
> also lmao moving past my broken sense of self im @mermistia on tumblr so pls come scream into my ask box abt this season if u want. or let me grieve the loss of my sanity by myself it’s all good


End file.
